How to Take Responsibility for Yourself?
Do you currently live day to day life in a state of detachment and neutrality? Feeling that you are suppressing emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation, or passion? Do you just feel that life is 'blah'?
If you do, then you are suffering from apathy and what is lost is the fundamental hope that personal happiness or fulfilment is possible.
Apathy is a temporary state of being. It doesn’t define you. You aren’t lazy, passionless, stupid, boring, unmotivated, or any other label you give yourself while you feel apathetic.
I always thought that I had a good outlook and in some areas of my life, I do. It became obvious to me that in many more areas of my life, I don't. The truth is that I am more of a pessimist than the optimist I thought I was. Ouch!
IS THIS YOU?
Ask Yourself this:
“Am I willing to make a commitment to myself, to give this feeling of apathy the fight of its life, even though doing so feels like it will take a lot more energy and effort than I’m now capable of?”
If you answered "yes", not "I can't" or even worse (in my opinion) "I'll try" (I'll try gives us options- options to back out or use an excuse not to push when things get tough)
Answering "yes" shows determination, empowerment and it highlights the fact that you have taken responsibility for yourself and your life. You deserve to better yourself, to feel and experience the magic that life has to offer. Do not do yourself a disservice by giving your control away by not taking responsibility for yourself.
Failing to act can lower your self-esteem, and result in such distressing feelings as worthlessness, guilt or shame.
This is exactly what has happened to me because I didn't take responsibility or commit to working on my apathy because I didn't believe that I could. This may also resonate with you, therefore I want you to commit to continually looking at yourself and your history from a different perspective in which you offer yourself greater compassion, empathy, understanding and possibly forgiveness for any past negligence, errors, or fuck ups.
Today, we are going to write a love letter to ourselves because you deserve some self-compassion. I'm sure all of you must have felt some form of love, compassion, empathy for a friend, family member, loved one or even an animal at least once in your life. Therefore, you all know what words to use to make someone feel at ease, loved and important.
1. Grab a piece of paper, your favourite notebook or open an app on your phone and start writing a love letter. BUT, do not put whom it is to until you finish writing it (in other words, don't start your letter with dear me or to (name) Do not make it personal yet! Write it with a loved one in mind, what would you say to them? You don't need to think of situations specific to them or what is troubling them at the moment. Just keep it very neutral. If you're stuck for what to put in your letter or need some inspiration, check out my example here. (Copy it all if you wish, I don't mind). 2. Once you have finished your letter, write, 'To me' at the beginning and 'Love, me' at the end. Then read that letter through, either in your head, aloud, stood up or even get someone else to read it to you.
3. Be aware of the words you are saying to yourself. We let negative words impact how we feel all of the time, so why can't we do the same with positive words?