Do you have a TOXIC Mindset?
We all have our bad days, where we feel sapped of energy and our motivation metre is set firmly on zero. And it is ok to have these times when we feel this way because otherwise how would we feel happiness? How would we know what joy feels like?
Life is a balance, so in order to get the good stuff, we have to experience a bit of the bad stuff too.
Which, I know sounds a bit shitty, but we do not have control over it. We do not have control over the automatic negative thoughts or feelings of low mood.
we do have control over how we act on these thoughts and feelings.
Take a moment to really analyse yourself, reflect on your past behaviours and just be aware of the patterns you fall into.
If you feel down, withdrawn or drained of energy, do you allow it to take over you? Do you fall into your self-pity hole in the ground and just sit, thinking 'I feel shit, this is not fair' or 'life sucks. I will never be happy' or my favourite 'my life is fucked up, what's the point?'
If you honestly answered yes, then well done for taking ownership. The bad news, however, is that you are most probably stuck in a toxic mindset.
A toxic mindset is your egos favourite place to live. It feels warm and safe, relaxing in the biggest bean bag it can find. A toxic mindset is basically 'Netflix and chill' for your ego. (for more information and advice on how to begin conquering your ego, check out the 'meet your ego' mini-series here)
What does a toxic mindset look like?
A toxic mindset is one that latches onto negativity, it feeds off of it and most of the time this is happening we are unaware of it. We are unaware of it because our level of consciousness is too low. We are at the bottom level, where what we see through our eyes is what we believe to be the absolute truth. We internalise what we see, which affects our thoughts, feelings and actions producing a never-ending cycle, which some people may call 'relapse'.
Other ways in which a toxic mindset sets up shop include:
Black or white, right or wrong, good or bad. If you have the belief that you are one or the other, so don't see the point in trying because 'it will never change' or 'i will always be like this' then the toxic mind hinders any form of growth. Your awareness sinks and you are unable to expand your perception of what 'could be'
You see the downside to everything.
Basically, you are turning into an all-mighty pessimist. Nothing is every positive for you and only bad things happen. If you find yourself in countless negative situations and you never try to find an ounce of good in it or listen to anyone that tries to show you the good in it, then, my friend, toxicity is taking over you.
Lack of self-awareness.
A lack of self-awareness means you don’t know or appreciate your strengths, nor do you recognize your weaknesses. The result is low self-esteem. You may tell yourself you can’t do something without even trying because you can’t see your good qualities. You might even feel defeated before you've even attempted to do something.
Lack of gratitude for what you have.
I can harp on about gratitude all day long, but if you don't feel grateful for the things in your life, then toxicity is upon you. Saying you are grateful is different to actually having the belief that you are. It's a feeling of warmth and contentedness that you can feel spreading throughout your body when you truly feel grateful. It not that you are a shitty person if you don't feel grateful for what you have, it just means that your awareness is low or shut off. It becomes a problem when you realise this and don't care to do anything about it.
My truth about MY toxic mindset
In the past, I would remain in my hole of despair whenever I felt my mood drop to a point where all I wanted to do, all I could do was lie in bed and sleep. I would wait and hold out for a session with a professional because I believed that they would bring me out of my low, soul-crushing mood. When I had my session and realised that they didn't bring me out of my low mood, I would feel all kinds of negative emotions; anger, sadness, shame and disappointment. I would wait unaware that I held a belief that they would help me; make me feel better. Even though I consciously knew that professionals cannot make you change or feel better, they can only facilitate and guide you in making the change yourself; the underlying belief was still there. And for this reason, I felt reliant on professionals for years, fearing that they would leave me, discharge me and I would just fall apart. This was my toxic mindset.
It was only in the early months of 2020, that I shifted and actually realised that my mindset had altered for the positive. I am now able to honestly recognise when automatic negative thoughts and feelings rise up within me. Instead of pretending that they are not there, I can acknowledge them and accept them because I know that I am in control of what I do next with them. My level of awareness and vibrational energy has lifted immensely because of this newfound skill in which we all hold, it is just being conscious of it and practising it that makes the difference.